Defining "Winning"

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Yesterday was as tense as 10-year-old baseball can be. An undefeated home record, the most consistent batting order I've seen in six years of coaching and a season of tremendous ups and downs led the Blue Jays to the final game of the season with the Division Title on the line. A win, and we're guaranteed either first or second place. A loss or tie, and we place fourth.





The Mets were on a white-hot winning streak, having risen through the ranks from seventh to a second-place tie, having taken down several formidable teams along the way. The Blue Jays had a solid record, but the Mets had the momentum and the desire to pull off yet another upset.

The Blue Jays dug an early hole for themselves: a 6-run deficit at the bottom of the second inning. When it was time to take the field, the Jays were crowded in the dugout with their hands in a bag of Doritos instead of taking their usual, eager positions at the on deck circle with gloves in hand. This was the first time in my career in which I wanted to hand the clipboard to my wife and watch the kids while she took care of "business" for a while.

At some point in the third inning, however, I saw the passion and desire return in my players' faces. It was as if they suddenly realized that a title was on the line, and they weren't about to go quietly into the obscure ranks of mediocrity. Suddenly our hitting, base running and defense were flawless, and the Blue Jays fought down to the wire with a 9-8 victory.

During the post-game huddle, it occurred to me that the chances of our backing into the first-place spot were slim. Second place is typically an awkward place to be (a friend of mine describes second place as being the "first loser"), but there were two things that made this a remarkably sweet victory.

First, I considered the first place contender. The team that "won" the first place title did so with a number of "bush league" tricks up their sleeves. As a matter of fact, we watched the team's final game, and you could hear their players, coaches and parents laughing as the players took advantage of their opponent's weaker kids. We finished our season half a game behind the first place team, but we did it with integrity.

Second, I considered the team we had just defeated. While my batters were warming up in the cages, I saw the Mets' Assistant Coach approach one of my players and extend his hand.

"Good luck," the coach said. My player, a nine-year-old in his first year of organized baseball, thanked him. The coach's response made my jaw drop.

"You're going to need it."

For the next 30 minutes, this Assistant Coach, a grown man who had pledged his time and efforts to the development of young athletes, proceeded to boast and prod the kids on my team! All I could do at the time was hope that his hubris would be repaid with a nasty fall from the heights of egotism.

At the end of the day, at the end of the season, this group of kids with whom I've been entrusted are a winning team. The Blue Jays are not a winning team because they'll have another trophy on their shelves. They're a winning team because they respected their teammates, their opponents and their adult volunteers. They are a winning team because they looked adversity square in the eye and found the courage to play just a little bit harder. They are a winning team because I had the privilege of seeing even the smallest shift in each of them toward the confident, determined and dedicated adults they will all too soon become.

Narcissism and Youth Sports

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Today's Newsweek article, "Generation Me," is an eye-opening commentary into an alarming trend toward narcissism in youth culture. In the "real-life" adult world we see its impact in the form of billion-dollar Ponzi schemes, out-of control executive pay amidst mass layoffs and ruined stock portfolios, and myriad other economic ills. And even the most Facebook-friend-sparse of us has likely taken note of the ever-prevalent "(x) Things About Me" posts.

In typical Newsweek fashion, the article's author agitates the proverbial sleeping lion then hides to observe the outcome. Yet, tucked neatly into the middle of the article's last two paragraphs are two references that hit close to home. The first referred to "trophies just for showing up," and the second made reference to the arguable Poster Child for narcissism in sports: Terrell Owens.

The two statements highlighted significant challenges we face as youth sports coaches. We must strike a delicate balance between protecting a young player's fragile self-esteem, cultivating his or her development and (in competitive leagues) assuring the win.

In my own experience, I once coached a player who epitomized narcissism in youth sports. He was never the standout player, although I hope that I can say I would have discouraged narcissism even if he had been. He was, however, a player who, possibly guided and encouraged by his parents, consistently played in his own best interest. As part of my own coaching philosophy I avoid crediting a single player for a game's outcome, win or lose. Still, in hindsight, I can think of a number of pivotal moments where this player's actions tipped the balance in favor of the other team.

Ultimately in my player's case, he lost the position that had been so critical to his self-esteem. I had an honest conversation with him about the consistent tendency I had seen toward self-advancing play at the expense of the team's welfare. In the Newsweek article, the author writes, "no matter how you were raised, the handiest cure for narcissism used to be life. Whether through fate, circumstances or moral imperative, our culture kept hubris in check." As the example in professional sports trends ever more significantly toward self-centeredness, we as coaches remain ever more challenged to keep our players' long-term welfare at heart. Sometimes we can deliver a tough but indubitably valuable life lesson when we see examples of narcissism, if we handle the situation correctly.

PinchCoach.com Beta is In Full Swing!

About nine months ago, Chris Lusher and I were closing another successful season coaching the Town & Country Mustang Division Blue Jays in Austin, TX. With more than fifteen years of coaching experience between us, we had seen our fair share of challenges in dealing with parents, players, schedules and all the surprises that make baseball the greatest game ever played.

It was out of that conversation that the idea behind PinchCoach.com would come to fruition. First, we realized that 75% of children in the United States abandon youth sports entirely by the age of 13. While competing interests and the increasing rigors of schoolwork cannot be ignored, a significant contributor this troubling statistic is an absence of consistent, qualified and properly equipped volunteers.

"If we were able to change that statistic, how would we do it, and what would the results look like," we asked ourselves.

Our response to that question led to the foundation of FairPlay Solutions, Inc. and our flagship product, PinchCoach.com. PinchCoach.com is the first free, comprehensive solution for youth sports team and league management. Our objective is to advance the cause of youth sports by providing tools, articles and community resources that benefit youth sports volunteers, players and parents.

With that said, we would like to invite all youth sports coaches to participate in an open Beta test for PinchCoach.com. As an early participant, coaches will have the opportunity to directly contribute to the cause we are all so passionate about. Our Beta testers' participation and feedback will help us all to better serve our players, parents and community.

To participate in the Beta test, please visit www.pinchcoach.com/coachregistration.aspx. We are thrilled to have the opportunity to serve the youth sports community through this endeavor!